In the beginning there was Chaos. A vast, yawning nothingness. Out of this impossible void emerged the primary divine beings Eurynome, Eros, Tartarus and Erebus. Eurynome, not content, performed celestial autogenesis and gave birth to Uranus, who in his godly gratitude fertilized her. They gave birth to the first Titans. A few years pass and … By Zeus! A Gordian knot indeed – the Titans take on the Olympians: Cronus versus Zeus. Son versus Father.
Their war cries echo down the corridors of time: “Cowards die many times before their deaths; the valiant never taste of death but once!” The Olympians emerge victorious. Mighty Aphrodite, Zeus, Poseidon, Hades, Hestia, Hera, Aries, Athena, Apollo, Hermes, Artemis & Hephaestus! All Titans dispatched. All but Prometheus – a Titan of considerable forethought and crafty counsel.
So crafty he created mankind. And Pandora. From her is the race of women and female kind: of her is the deadly race and tribe of women who live amongst mortal men to their great torment. Prometheus’ reward for laying this bad egg? Chained to a mountain for eternity. The Gods, lascivious to the last, begin fornicating with mortals, and give life to Hercules, Perseus & Odysseus. Perseus slays Medusa – the sssssexy serpent-haired Gorgon – and then saves Andromeda from a sea monster.
Hercules performs a few impossible tasks and frees Promeseus. Odysseus goes on a very long journey and returns home safely. Aphrodite is caught cheating on her husband Hephaestus with Ares. Hades kidnaps Persephone to the underworld; Artemis is tricked into shooting her lover Orion; Hestia gives up her seat on Olympus to the new god Dionysus and Hera has revenge on Zeus’ mortal consorts.
Confused? No more than we are.
Come and seek omnivorous omniscient clarity at the most gargantuan gaudy godlike get-together at this year’s Balkanology – Greek Mythology! 11th of June in Johannesburg at Newtown, and 15th of June in Cape Town at the Zip Zap Circus dome on the Foreshore.
Balkanology is a Cape Town based collective presenting the madness of Balkan and Gypsy music to Africa. They do this by throwing massive manic parties where DJ’s and musicians perform a fusion of Gypsy, Serbian, Macedonian, Bulgarian and Romanian melodies. It’s the biggest Balkan party in South Africa. It’s the only Balkan party in South Africa.